Thank you to the lovely Sophie who tagged me in this. I feel like writing this letter to my brain will help me to clear up my thoughts and feelings but also give you an insight into me and my brain.
Firstly, my brain is called Barbra. I know, it’s an old fashioned name. But I feel like Barbra suits my brain because my memory isn’t all there and my close friends and family always call me old because of my hobbies and lack of stereotypical 20 year old behaviour. I’d rather stay in bed with a hot chocolate and go to sleep than party all night. Now, my brain hasn’t had the easiest of times. I’ve had anxiety for 7 years now and I feel for Barbra and the struggles we have shared. She’s been there for the good times and to be blatantly honest the sh*t times. We’ve struggled recently with stress, anxiety and emotions but we’re getting there. (Big shout out to the support of my boyfriend, family and friends for helping me!).
The Past struggles
I think the hardest thing Barbra has been through is loosing my auntie. That’s something I would like to openly talk more about in it’s own post but 3 years later and I’m still dealing with the repercussions of this loss. If I’m honest I don’t think I’ll ever be 100% with the death of my auntie. From her diagnosis when I was young to the years leading up to her death. But I’m in a good place now, I’m ready to share her story.
As a child, Barbra had to grow up fast. She had to learn to cope with a multitude of emotions and challenges that a usual child wouldn’t face as young. I have to give it to her she coped very well. Did I think four years ago I be writing this post, NO. Four years ago I had no future, no GCSE’s. Skip to 2018 and I’m going into my 3rd year of university celebrating 2 and 1/2 years with my boyfriend and living with my boyfriend. I’ve hit over 100 subscribers on my YouTube which has been 4 years in the making and my blogging life is flourishing. All the while, I’m learning and growing as a person.
I think it’s fair to say Barbra has had a hard time the past four years at least. She has been my main back bone and has got me through tough times that I honestly didn’t think I could. I’m stood here in 2018, life isn’t perfect but what is? I’m happy and enjoying life and that’s the most precious thing. So, I think I owe a BIG thank you to you Barbra! You the girl!