So, I feel like I owe the truth to you. These past few months I’ve been on and off on my blog. Some posts have felt distant and not me. After, publishing my letter to my brain post I feel like I’m ready to open up a new chapter in my life and share more with you. I like to keep some things hidden and not share but it’s 2018 and by me sharing some of my triumphs and fails it could help you. When I created this blog nearly a year ago my main goal was to help others through sharing my experiences. Here it goes…
I touched in my last post about opening up and sharing some of the events that have occurred in my life these past 3 years that I haven’t wanted to share. There’s been a lot of hurting, pain but mostly change. The person I am today is not who I was 3 years ago. The person writing this is not the same person who created this blog. It’s now time for me to share who Brooke Pearson really is.
Here is me 3 years ago. An a-level student who was taking her final exams. Life was stressful. I looked happy in this picture but thinking back to what I was dealing with, I had lost my auntie to cancer. I wasn’t having the best time at sixthform, my grades weren’t what I wanted and my social life was non-existent. I mean I ate my lunch in my car because of a situation with my friends at the time which made it so uncomfortable to be in the building. I was extremely anxious and I remember wanting to quit sixthform and just stay at home and hide. (Looking back I’m glad I didn’t do this)
Then there’s me after a-levels. At the moment this photo was taken I was in Spain trying not to think about my looming results day. This was my first holiday with my boyfriend. I was super excited to be on our first holiday but the anxiety of whether I’d pass my a-levels and go to uni was on my mind. I did pass my exams luckily and I did go to uni.
Here’s Brooke first year of uni. My confidence was growing, I’d made some friends on my course and I was happy in myself. I liked the way I looked and was learning to accept my acne and embrace it as a part of me. I’d moved into a flat with my boyfriend in Sheffield and felt like a proper adult. By that I mean I was cooking, cleaning and doing my own washing and I was still alive!
Then came the start of second year. I’d managed to pass my first year of uni which was a humongous achievement for me. I was told I wouldn’t get enough GCSE’s never mind be at university. I was so incredibly proud of myself. I feel like I was in a good place. I was learning to love my skin and feel confident without wearing any foundation. Anxiety, yes it was still there but I was managing it and coping.
And, I guess that brings us to me now. I’m getting ready for my third year of uni. I just received the best results, a first. I’ve been to Disneyland Paris, the place where I feel free and happy. Of course my anxiety is still here for the journey but I’m ready for the challenges it will through my way, bring it on! I’m ready to start a new chapter in my life and share my life. The raw, uncut, sometimes crap life I live. So, I guess get ready for a whole load of rambling, embarrassing stories and the truth. I hope you stick around for this journey.